Dating- It's the First Date.. Who should pay?

Well, you've got a first date tonight- you're anxious, nervous, and excited.. but you're wondering- Who should foot the bill?

Who doesn't wonder this on first dates? Women are more independent than ever and men get nervous that they may offend their feminist crush by trying to pick up the tab. Because we are all equal, right? Wrong. Well, actually we are, just not when it comes to paying for first dates.

Dudes, I'm sorry- it probably sucks, but you should pay if you want to go out with her again. Even if you are not exactly made of money at the moment. Yes, you should probably pay even if she asked you out.

And here's why: Because she is going to feel negatively if you don't, she may feel so negatively that she won't be attracted to you enough to want to go out with you again. Yes, it's traditional that a man should pay for the first date (and some people scoff at tradition), but it's a tradition that all women grew up hearing and are now accustomed to. So if a man doesn't pay on the first date the women is automatically going to assume the he either is not all that attracted to her, he is cheap, and that if she were to get into a relationship with him, he may be detrimental to her bank account because she may have to end up supporting his ass. Are any of these things necessarily true or fair or "right"... No. But those are going to be the gut feelings within a women that just shelled out on the first stepping stone to building a relationship.

Now for the tricky part- the woman is probably going to offer to pay or split the bill. This is her being a courteous, independent, wonderful woman- it doesn't mean she really wants to pay for or split the bill. So tell her no, you would be delighted to treat her, even if you are really thinking that you would appreciate her picking up the tab so you can buy the new Call of Duty game. If she is absolutely adamant about paying, well hell, let her- then go buy your video game sir.

Okay ladies, this is for you. Please do not run off to the bathroom when you see the waiter approaching the table, bill in hand, out of the corner of your eye. You are not fooling anyone. The fellow sitting across from you knows that the urge to pee has not just hit you so violently that you need to sprint to the Ladies Room. I realize that you don't want to pay and that this part of a date is a bit awkward. But imagine how awkward it would be if when you got back from powdering your nose- the bill was still there, waiting for you. I mean, what do you say then? Like, "So, did you want to split the bill or something, or what exactly is THAT THING still doing here?"- is not exactly lady-like.

I agree, you shouldn't pay. I almost think its rude if a man asks you out and then DOESN'T pay. ..Mixed signals much? But if he doesn't confidently and smoothly swoop the up the bill as it comes, then at least offer. If he lets you and you harbor negative feelings about it- then follow your gut, and don't go out with him again. Even if you are a feminist or very independent- I think you should let him pay for the first date. If not for anything else, just to show that he is a reliable and strong man, capable of being a rock when you need one. And we ALL need one sometimes.. even the very toughest of us.

If you feel uncomfortable because he spent a lot of money on you. Well ask yourself, did he pick the restaurant? If it was expensive, then he probably chose it to impress you. Go ahead and feel spoiled.. nice isn't it? If you still feel uncomfortable about it, then offer to pay for an after-dinner cocktail or coffee. He may take you up on it, he may not. Paying for something like that, I think is fair. It will show him you like him and that you aren't just along for a free ride. Keep in mind, some men will not let you pay for anything for first few times you go out- enjoy it. Just don't start taking that for granted.. after the first couple of dates, you gals should be contributing something.

Now, get out there and enjoy yourself. There is much attraction and many first dates to be had!