Are you expecting a lonely Valentines Day? I'm going to give you 4 reasons why you should actually thank your lucky stars that you do not have to submit yourself to the pink-and-red-someone-please-gag-me mumbo jumbo that is unfortunately going on around us.
1) Valentines day is the absolutely most ridiculous Hallmark holiday of the year. People, wake up! Valentines day is a marketers dream! The whole holiday was conceived solely to take money right out of consumer's pockets, while the Big Wigs laugh all the way to the bank. Did you know that around 188 million Valentines Day greeting cards are sold every year? Dear God, think about how much money that is in cards alone. I'm not even going to start on why greeting cards are the most pointless, stupid gifts ever (unless they are filled with money, of course).
But seriously, please do not buy into this holiday. If you are worried about looking like an asshole for refusing the partake in the madness, try to somehow coordinate an anniversary or something with the holiday. Knock out two birds with one stone.
2) Valentines day is nothing but stress. Say you just started dating someone.. are you supposed to get them a gift? What kind of gift says 'I care', but doesn't say 'I already take this relationship too seriously' or 'I like you way more than you like me'. I mean, you don't want to scare anyone off- but you don't want them to think that you don't like them either. S-T-R-E-S-S-F-U-L.
Even if you are in a long term relationship, you aren't immune to the stress. If you are a guy, you are probably wondering what the hell to get your lady. You probably know she is hoping for jewelry or something equally expensive, so I bet you are trying to think of ways to save your Piggy Bank, without landing in the dog house. And if you are a woman- its even worse... Seriously, are you even supposed to get your guy anything for Valentines day? What would even be appropriate, he surely doesn't want flowers or any of the pink and red paraphernalia that all the stores are hawking. Completely unnecessary stress brought on by the devil in a cupid costume.
3) Valentines day is one of the best days to head to the bar and get shitty. Are you going to be able to get sloshed and hook up with a rando if you have to attend some romantic dinner with a dude that is basically being forced to acknowledge this holiday? No, and that is just sad.
I think it's a good night to go out and I'm a chick. For guys- you are basically guaranteed your choice of lady. If she is out at the bar with her girlfriends on Valentines Day- then game on, brother. It's like picking up girls at weddings, but easier.
4)No one is happy on Valentines Day. Seriously, very few people walk away from this "holiday" unscathed. The single people are all checking themselves into therapy for plummeting self-esteem issues. And all of the twosomes are simultaneously failing to meet one another's expectations. If you got her flowers, she was probably hoping for a dinner out. No one is saying the 'right' things. Balls are being dropped. Chaos ensues.
Pass.
So if you choose to declare yourself above this cheesy Hallmark holiday, you can smoothly avoid all of the above issues. Thank God. Or you can be like me and see Valentines Day as the perfect excuse to party. As if I needed another excuse.
So pat yourself on the back and welcome a lonely Valentines Day. Hang out with your pals, maybe pop some bottles, and I promise it really won't be so lonely after all.
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