Functional Relationships: Cheating

Cheating. A very obvious sign of a dysfunctional relationship. There are two kinds of cheating: Physical cheating and emotional cheating. For clarification purposes, I will give some examples.

Physical cheating- making embarrassingly bad choices while under the influence of two-inch thick beer goggles and "accidentally" ending up with your penis in a foreign vagina.

Emotional cheating- having a special 'friend' that you are emotionally involved with even if no physical barriers have been broken, this includes, but is not limited to, attractive work spouses, the chick you text more than your girlfriend, or any person that you pursue in a dating- yet non-booty call sort of manner, who conveniently knows nothing of your significant other.

I do not approve of cheating. I don't even approve of cheating if your partner is a a frigid bitch. You picked her- therefore you consciously took partial responsibility of her emotional well-being... which makes her- your problem. When you have a problem an effective solution is not to brush it under the rug and go chasing some hotter tail. That generally will only lead to your 'problem' getting very angry and turning into a tire slashing/clothes burning/reputation-ruining monster.

That being said, I understand cheating. I especially understand physical cheating. You know, there are a lot of fish in the sea. And a lot of those fish seem to be pretty appealing after a couple of drinks, so I understand where lines get blurry and things just 'happen'. This kind of mindless cheating- the kind that honestly means nothing... well, I think it sucks a whole lot less that getting cheated on emotionally.

Which is funny, because most people think just the opposite. But I would absolutely rather find out that my boyfriend cheated on me when he was blacked one night, than find out that he actually has feelings for another girl. I can always Facebook the slut and make fun of her with my friends when I feel sad. But what exactly are you supposed to do when your boyfriend actually has feelings for another chick? She hasn't really done anything wrong- these things unfortunately just happen. And its not really clear whether he has actually done anything 'wrong', so to speak.

Relationships are tough. They are usually entirely more complicated than what we are comfortable dealing with. But being on the receiving end of cheating has to be one of the most devastating situations one could find themselves in. Your trust is broken, your self-esteem is left suffering and it can make the most confident of us feel very desperate.

There is no 'One size fits all' answer for what you should do after you have been cheated on. And honestly, I think if you find yourself in this situation- the only action you should take.. is no action at all. Don't try to repair your relationship, don't try to reel your partner back in- just take a step back and don't react. (Or go crying to your girlfriends/ mother/ and anyone else unlucky enough to be in renting range). But if your partner comes to YOU and wants to work to repair the relationship or "make things up to you"- then if that's what you want, let them put in the work.

Everyone should be given a chance to fix their mistakes. But in a lot of cases, if someone cheats on you, especially emotionally- they will not care enough about you to actually put in the work to mend the relationship. So if your significant other comes to you with a sincere apology and a willingness to earn back your trust- that says a lot.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Some smart guy said that.

Gandhi.. or something like that.

:)



Anyway, thanks for reading about cheating and how it all plays into functional relationships and attraction and all of that fun stuff.