Online Dating: Mistakes Men make in their Profiles Constantly

Internet Dating.. you know what kills attraction instantly, even through a computer screen? A really creepy profile. Or even a little creepy.

Men, if you even seem a little 'off' online, women are NOT going to meet you. We are all scared of being the next news story. What's sad though, is that a woman will see a certain profile or add and write the man off in a second, but a man will see the same profile- and think he sounds cool. Men are from Mars...

..Anyway, I have compiled a list of things we women reeeallly wish that men would stop posting (unless you really are a creep, which in that case keep doing so we can differentiate):

1) Your picture: While we get that you think hunting is fun, and you are super proud of that big buck you bagged- it really does not need to make it into your profile picture. Actually that's just a turn off and for some, a deal-breaker, so knock it off. In addition, if you are on a DATING site looking for DATING, we don't need to see most of your body parts. That includes, but is not limited to: faceless pictures of abs, tattoos, and PLEASE no penis pics. Really. It's just scary.

2) Grammar: No Chatspeak. While I may be impressed that you know how to make a heart using symbols, I would like to also know that you can spell out three letter words. Generally we women would like to think of the man we are dating as intelligent. Intelligence is very attractive. Typing lik dys, cuz ur jus cool like dat.. not so much.

3) Expectations: I know you want to find the woman of your dreams, I totally understand that. As it so happens, I'm looking for my Prince Charming. But if you are an overweight, unemployed, 55 year old- it really isn't fair to be seeking a svelte, 23 year old finishing her second masters. Also, how you listed out 43 things you want in a woman, including a love of cleaning, blowjobs, long hikes, and culinary mastery.. well, thanks for being so descriptive! But don't be surprised when you get, um, no results. Get real, mister.

4) Expecting Women to Have no Expectations: Saying things like "I'm looking for a hot chick to keep me warm on this chilly Saturday night, no strings attached", just makes me sad. I thought dating sites were instituted to help find a special someone, not a booty call. Isn't that what bars are for? And, anyway, I hate to break it to ya, Mr. Bigshot, while there are some daring lonely ladies out there, this just isn't going to get overwhelming responses from the type of women you are looking for.

If you are really shooting for successfully finding online love, please write a respectful, funny profile. Tell a little about yourself, be genuine. Be funny- women LOVE funny. Post a recent picture of your face, and don't be too pushy. You actually have to make intellectual connection since you can't just base the connection off physical chemistry. Hmm, online dating, what DID our grandparents do without the internet?!

Hopefully this clears up what women find attractive in the online dating world.